A Cathar, A Princess, And Buttercups
by Yggi
Summary: KOTOR. After the Star Forge, Bastila and Juhani have a conversation. Not ff.


Since all of her training had been done on Dantooine, Juhani had never actually been to the Jedi Temple. Now, two weeks after returning from the mop-up fighting around the Rakatan planet, she was every bit as awed by the sights as when she first entered. And it wasn't just the scope of the place, or the care put into it that one would expect from a Jedi. It was the history. The way the place _spoke_ to her. Almost as if it were alive.

Generations upon generations of powerful Jedi had trained, lived, and died here. And unless Juhani's imagination was running wild, it had left a permanent mark. The Force was strong here, bathing every corridor and hall in a sense of tranquillity and the flow of life, like the positive counterpart of Korriban's venomous aura. The young Cathar had never felt anything like it.

Already the place felt like home.

She stopped a moment, and looked at the map she had printed out from the console in her spartan but comfortable quarters. A kind Master, far too old for active duty and with plenty of free time, had offered to give her a guided tour of the entire premises and she intended to take him up on that. But first, she had something to do.

She took a right turn, passing a lecture hall, an empty hallway, an unfamiliar Jedi who nodded at her, and a play area for the youngest initiates of the Order. And there it was.

The Piiro Garden was apparently named after the Jedi Master who had created it. A member of a now-extinct race had, over the course of a 300-year life, collected exotic flora from all over the Republic.

It was a magnificent sight as Juhani walked in under the giant skylight that made up the roof. The emphasis seemed to be on letting natural beauty prosper, with a minimum of meddling by sentient hands. Even the decorative fountain didn't seem out of place, what with the vines that wrapped around it, and the paint job that blended right in with the environment.

Juhani stopped again, but this time she stuck the map in her robe pocket, closed her eyes, and reached out with her Force senses. A little to her left . . .

The Cathar walked past lilac-covered bushes and into a clearing of small trees. There, surrounded by buttercups, sat Bastila Shan.

The human was holding her hand palm-out, above which floated her lightsaber hilt. She was using the Force to twirl it in circles. Younger Padawans were commonly known to play a bit with the Force, though most Masters stressed reverence towards their gifts. Juhani had never seen one Bastila's age do it.

She noticed Juhani coming, hurriedly let the lightsaber drop into her grasp and clicked it to her belt with a carefully neutral expression.

"Juhani."

"Hello Bastila. I am not disturbing you, am I?"

Bastila looked around the garden, avoiding the Cathar's face.

"I just like to come here to . . . relax."

The fact that the human hadn't really answered the question wasn't lost on Juhani, but she decided to follow her plan.

She sat down opposite her fellow Jedi. Her skill at empathy wasn't exceptional, but she sensed a bit of surprise from Bastila as Juhani made herself comfortable on the grass.

_I suppose it is only to be expected._

She wondered how to proceed. Communication had never been her greatest skill.

What was it that Master Quatra used to tell me? "My dear, evildoers will have good reason to fear your fighting talents, but if your diplomacy skills are ever put to the test, I fear you will start another Great Hyperspace War."

"How are you doing?" Juhani decided on.

Bastila fidgeted a bit.

"Better, thank you. The Masters have been helping me cope, and I have had plenty of kind words and offers of help, from many Jedi. I am getting a lot of goodwill, but . . ." She hesitated.

"But you still feel . . . unworthy?" Juhani finished for her.

Bastila nodded, with some reluctance.

"That about sums it up, I think." Bastila finally looked her directly in the eyes, and shrugged in a somewhat self-depreciating manner. "Of course. I suppose you know plenty about that feeling."

"I do," Juhani admitted.

Bastila shook her head, sadly.

"During our journeys I was always quick to offer support or guidance to Revan . . . but I barely said a word to you, though your pain was obvious to any Force Sensitive. "I am sorry, Juhani." she said sincerely. "There are so many things I got wrong . . ."

Juhani held up a hand to silence her.

"Please, do not blame yourself. I have learned a lot about myself during this whole experience and I . . . I have always been my own worst enemy."

"You DO seem more balanced." Bastila admitted. "I am happy for you."

"Yes . . . well, I still have a way to go." Juhani was hoping to avoid the subject of her own improvements, in light of Bastila's situation. "In fact, that is why I am here."

Bastila raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

Ever since the final sparring match with Quatra, Juhani had been getting steadily more used to swallowing her own pride. This time, it wasn't so bad.

"I feel I must apologise to you."

Bastila raised the other eyebrow.

"We are both Jedi." the Cathar continued. "We should be able to trust and rely on one another. You say you never approached me, but then I never gave you a chance to."

"As I recall you didn't associate with anyone much. Except for Revan."

"Oh . . . yes, that is true. But then, like I said, we are Jedi, you and I."

"So why the distance from your end?"

Juhani wondered if the word "hostility" had almost made its way out of Bastila's mouth.

"Well, I . . ." Juhani sighed. She wasn't proud of it, but the pride-swallowing would have to continue. "The destruction of Taris. My 'home'."

"Oh, I see." Bastila said quietly, averting her eyes towards the buttercups.

"It was hardly reasonable of me, to be mad at you for something you had no control over . . ."

"But then emotions aren't based on reason." Bastila finished for her.

"Indeed not." Juhani almost smiled at what an understatement that was, at least in her case. "Anyway, we would both have benefited from mutual support, I think."

Bastila conceded the point.

"In retrospect, yes. I imagine we could have. I-I have to admit that I sometimes didn't know what to make of you." Bastila ran a hand through her hair, somewhat ashamedly. "But I always did respect your dedication!" she added hurriedly. "Your . . . BELIEF in the Jedi ideals. Even with all your problems. It was . . . inspiring sometimes."

There was no false flattery in the human's voice, face, or aura. Juhani felt herself hit with an echo of the strange discomfort praise had often caused her in the past.

"Ah, thank you, Bastila. That really . . . that really means a lot, coming from you. With what you did for Revan, and the Republic."

The Cathar caught the slight grimace that flashed across Bastila's face. She knew what the woman was going through, and that time, and not kind words alone, would make things better. But that was no reason to stay quiet.

"You did a great deal, Bastila." Juhani said, hoping to at least put a dent in the woman's guilt. "Even with what happened you have done remarkable things."

"Mm." and another shrug was the only reaction.

"You did." Juhani insisted. "And I remind you that most Jedi who fall STAY fallen."

Bastila looked at her with something between gratitude and frustration, since her self-blame couldn't think of a counter to that.

"Anyway . . ." Juhani said after a while of silence. "The reason I came here is because, well . . ." She felt awkward saying this, and held her hands out, pretending she could make the human understand with other than words. No such luck.

"I was hoping we could rectify our mistakes." she forced out. "My spirit still needs some cleansing, and, ah, my poor conduct towards a fellow Jedi is weighing down on me."

Bastila looked up at the skylight in contemplation.

"Yes." she said quietly. "Yes, of course we should." She sat up a little straighter, and the weary slump seemed to vanish, or at least retreat back under the surface. "Revan fought hard to make up for her mistakes. There is no excuse for us not to do the same."

Juhani smiled, feeling one more weight being eased off her shoulders. She held her hand out, and Bastila grasped it. The Cathar then stood up, pulling the human to her feet as well.

"Master Chool has offered to take me on a guided tour of the temple. Would you like to join us?"

Bastila took one more look around the garden.

"Why not?" A little smile snuck onto her face. "I suppose there is only so much time one can spend looking at buttercups."

Side by side, the two Jedi walked back into the main complex.


End file.
